sun may 17
347/365
sometimes change is instant. you get that one defining moment in time: a phone call, a knock at the door, a voice…’we need to talk’; where crushing news is delivered and things will never be the same, ever again. time only exists before or after that moment. at the time you are so busy dealing with the issue that you don’t even consider the change it will bring. sometimes it’s enough to just focus on breathing and literally surviving from one minute to the next. it is so overwhelming and can be excruciating. i have experienced that kind of change in my life a number of times and it is devastating and obviously life changing.
but other times change is more insidious. life slowly morphs and little bits of everyday become different without us really noticing. then one day you get out of bed and notice! maybe it was going to a certain restaurant for dinner every friday night; perhaps it was religiously watching your favourite tv show; or a sunday evening phone call to your interstate sister (sarah!!). something happens and the habit is broken. you stop doing these things so frequently, and then you don’t do them at all. but it takes a while to notice. it’s often not til you bump into someone you haven’t seen for a while and they ask you about it, that you realise the change that has taken place.
one thing that has often intrigued me is the interior of people’s houses. walk into some houses and feel as though you have entered a time warp. not that there’s anything wrong with that, but i often wonder about how it happened. when did they decide to never hang a new picture, to never rearrange the furniture, to never buy new glassware or crockery, or put a new book on the bookshelf? i guess a conscious decision has never been made; it’s just something that happens over time. mmm…now i feel the need to rearrange the furniture…
thankfully, at the moment the most obvious change around here is the changing season. autumn is upon us (in fact i cant believe it’s almost winter) and while the days are still very warm, the evenings and mornings have cooled. such a glorious time of year.
song “cool change” lrb
